Sexuality is a topic that can be difficult to navigate, especially in today’s culture. As Christians, we turn to the Bible for guidance in all areas of our lives, including our relationships with our spouses. One question that may arise is whether it’s possible to lust after your wife. In this post, we will explore this topic and discover what the Bible has to say about it.
The Bible teaches us to avoid lust and sexual immorality, but it also encourages us to enjoy the gift of sex within the bounds of marriage. However, there is a fine line between healthy sexual desire and lust, which can lead to sin and separation from God. So, what’s the difference between the two? And is it possible to lust after your wife, who has willingly given herself to you in the context of marriage?
In this post, we will examine the definition of lust and how it differs from healthy sexual desire. We will also explore the biblical teachings on marriage and the marriage covenant, which provide insight into the nature of the relationship between a husband and wife. Ultimately, we will conclude that it is not possible to lust after your wife, as the marriage covenant requires a deep commitment and selflessness that is incompatible with the selfishness of lust.
Before we can examine whether it’s possible to lust after your wife, we need to define what lust is. Lust is a strong desire or craving for something that is not ours, often for something that is forbidden or immoral. It’s a selfish desire that puts our own pleasure above everything else. The Bible warns us against lust, as it can lead to sin and separation from God.
In the Bible, lust is often associated with sexual immorality. In Galatians 5:19-21, it says, “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Here, we see that sexual immorality, including adultery and fornication, is a sin that can prevent us from inheriting the kingdom of God.
Jesus himself spoke about the dangers of lust in Matthew 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Here, Jesus is telling us that lust is just as damaging as committing adultery. It’s a sin that begins in the heart and can lead to further sin.
Differentiating Between Lust and Healthy Sexual Desire
It’s important to note that not all sexual desire is lustful. God created sex to be a beautiful and fulfilling experience within the context of marriage. In fact, the Bible encourages husbands and wives to enjoy each other physically. In Proverbs 5:18-19, it says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” This passage shows us that God created sex to be a beautiful and fulfilling experience within the context of marriage.
So, what’s the difference between healthy sexual desire and lust? Healthy sexual desire is focused on the well-being and satisfaction of both partners. It’s not a selfish desire for something that is not ours, that puts our own pleasure above everything else. It’s a desire to connect with our spouse in a meaningful and intimate way.
Lust, on the other hand, is a selfish desire for something we do not have that focuses only on our own pleasure. It’s a desire to use someone else for our own gratification, without considering their feelings or well-being. It can lead to sin and separation from God, as we saw in Galatians 5:19-21.
The Marriage Covenant
When we enter into marriage, we make a covenant with our spouse before God. This covenant is a sacred commitment that should not be taken lightly. In 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, the Bible says, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” This passage shows us that when we enter into marriage, we give ourselves completely to our spouse, both physically and emotionally.
The marriage covenant is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and his church. In Ephesians 5:22-33, it says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”
Here, we see that the husband and wife have different roles in the marriage, but they are both called to love and serve each other. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, which means sacrificing himself for her and putting her needs above his own. The wife is called to submit to her husband, which means respecting and honoring him as the leader of the household.
Lusting After Your Wife
Given what we know about lust and the marriage covenant, we can confidently say that it is not possible to lust after your wife. Instead what you are experiencing is healthy sexual attraction. When a husband and wife come together in marriage, they willingly give themselves to each other. They become one flesh, as it says in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” When a husband desires his wife, it is natural. It is a natural desire that springs from how God created a man to be.
The Bible teaches us to avoid lust and sexual immorality, but it also encourages us to enjoy the gift of sex within the bounds of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:5, it says, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” This passage shows us that sex is an important part of a healthy marriage, and it should not be neglected or used as a weapon.
In fact, when we honor our spouse and enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life, we are glorifying God. In Song of Solomon, we see a beautiful picture of the physical and emotional intimacy that can exist between a husband and wife. It says, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine. He feeds his flock among the lilies…His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me” (Song of Solomon 6:3-4). This passage shows us that sex can be a way to express love and affection within the context of marriage.
In conclusion, the Bible does not teach that it’s possible to lust after your wife. When a husband and wife come together in marriage, they give themselves completely to each other and become one flesh. Lust is a selfish desire for something that is not ours tempts us that puts our own pleasure above everything else, but in marriage, the desires of both partners are important and should be met. As Christians, we should seek to honor God with our relationships and our sexuality. By following God’s plan for marriage, we can experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from a loving, committed relationship.
As we navigate the challenges of modern culture, we must remember that God’s word provides us with the truth and wisdom we need. We should seek to honor God’s commands and follow his plan for marriage, even when it may be difficult or counter-cultural. This includes avoiding lust and selfish desires in our relationships, and instead focusing on building strong, loving, and committed partnerships.
It’s also important to note that lusting after other women is not the same as desiring your wife. The Bible teaches us to avoid lust and sexual immorality, and this includes avoiding thoughts or actions that are outside the bounds of our marriage covenant. When we honor our spouse and remain faithful to them, we are living out God’s plan for our lives and our relationships.
As Christians, we should also strive to differentiate between healthy sexual desire and lust. Sexual desire is a natural and healthy part of marriage, and it can bring couples closer together.
In conclusion, the Bible teaches us that it’s not possible to lust after your wife. When we enter into marriage, we give ourselves completely to our spouse and become one flesh. Lust is a selfish desire that can lead to sin and separation from God, but when we honor our spouse and seek to build a strong and loving relationship, we can experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from following God’s plan for marriage. Let us strive to follow God’s commands and honor our spouse in all areas of our lives, including our sexuality.