Cuddling is a common way for couples to show affection, comfort one another, and bond. But some Christians wonder if cuddling outside of marriage is sinful. As believers, we want to honor God in all areas of life, including our romantic relationships. So let’s explore what the Bible says about appropriate physical touch between unmarried people.
Key Takeaways:
- Cuddling can easily lead to sexual temptation and should be avoided by unmarried couples.
- While the Bible doesn’t specifically prohibit cuddling, it calls Christians to purity and warns against stirring up sexual desire outside of marriage.
- Establishing physical boundaries is wise to avoid going too far into sin. Light, brief hugs are safer than prolonged full-body cuddling.
- Married couples have freedom to cuddle as an expression of their union. But they still need to exercise wisdom concerning when/where cuddling is appropriate.
- The Holy Spirit can guide each person in setting boundaries that honor Christ in their specific relationships.
- If you’ve crossed a line, repent and commit to righteousness, relying on God’s grace and forgiveness.
Honoring God with Your Body
As Christians, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). This means we glorify God by using our bodies in a holy manner, keeping ourselves sexually pure: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Cuddling is not inherently sinful. However, due to our human desire for intimacy and pleasure, it can easily lead to sexual temptation. Prolonged full-body pressing and fondling should be avoided by unmarried couples, as this stirs up sexual passion that cannot be righteously fulfilled outside of marriage.
While cuddling itself is not explicitly forbidden in Scripture, some related actions clearly are. Ephesians 5:3 instructs: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity.” Touching someone else in a way meant to arouse lust is impure. We must analyze whether our motivations are pure or if we’re seeking selfish pleasure when considering physical contact with a dating partner.
Guarding Against Temptation
The Bible urges caution concerning stirring up desire before marriage: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable…” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). Close physical intimacy has a high potential to ignite sexual longing. While not explicitly banned, unrestrained cuddling could violate the scriptural principle of controlling your body to avoid sexual sin.
King Solomon poetically describes the power of physical touch leading to sexual sin: “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished” (Proverbs 6:27-29). If we play with temptation, we likely will fall into the sin that so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1).
So it’s wise for unmarried Christians to establish clear physical boundaries. Brief hugs and limited contact create safer relationship contexts versus prolonged full-body pressing and roaming hands which provide too much opportunity to awaken sexual desire not intended for fulfillment within that relationship.
Guidance of the Holy Spirit
Rather than legalistic lists of dos and don’ts, we have a Helper to guide us into truth about righteous living. Jesus said the Holy Spirit “will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you” (John 14:26). As we pray and study Scripture, the Spirit impresses God’s standards on our conscience.
The Holy Spirit prompts different people to establish different physical boundaries based on their unique romantic dynamics and level of self-control. For example, some may reserve hand-holding for engagement, while others might feel comfortable holding hands during dating. Each believer must listen for the Spirit’s customized guidance concerning appropriate conduct with boyfriends/girlfriends to honor Christ.
Freedom in Marriage
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). Within the covenant of marriage, God blesses sexual intimacy as holy and good. Christian couples have wonderful freedom to express their love through physical touch, including cuddling.
However, even married believers must exercise wisdom and discernment concerning when, where, and how to be physically affectionate. While private romantic moments are for married couples to enjoy behind closed doors, unrestrained PDA (public displays of affection) in front of children, church members, coworkers, etc. may make others uncomfortable or open doors for sexual temptation. As led by the Spirit, couples should balance celebrating their intimacy with exhibiting discretion.
Repentance and Grace
Scripture promises that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Have you crossed a line physically or mentally? Repent and receive God’s forgiveness. Jesus sacrificed Himself to free us from guilt and the power of sin (Titus 2:14). His mercy offers us a fresh start.
By God’s grace, we can reset relationship boundaries that honor Him. May we walk by the Spirit day-by-day, glorifying God with our minds and bodies. This brings joy and purpose, as we long for the day when “there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4). Until then, let us honor Christ through moral excellence as we eagerly await His return and the consummation of all relationships in eternal purity and love.
