Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially marriage. When a husband lies, it can shake that foundation and cause the wife to question everything about their relationship. As Christians, we know that marriage is a sacred covenant before God, so a husband lying goes against God’s design for marriage.
If you have discovered your husband has been lying, it is completely understandable to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. This is likely one of the hardest trials you may face in your marriage. But as believers in Christ, we can rely on God’s Word to guide us through difficult situations. The Bible provides wisdom, hope, and guidance on how to respond to a lying spouse.
Key Takeaways:
- Confront your husband lovingly and seek counseling.
- Examine yourself and pray for your own heart.
- Set healthy boundaries if lying continues.
- Trust God to work through the situation and in your husband’s heart.
- Look to God’s faithfulness and promises.
- Protect your marriage and family.
- Seek support and guidance from other believers.
Understand the Seriousness of Lying
The book of Proverbs makes is clear how much God detests lying and falsehood:
“Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal truthfully are His delight.” (Proverbs 12:22 NKJV)
“These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.” (Proverbs 6:16-19 NKJV)
Lying is listed among sins God calls an abomination. So we need to confront lying in our marriage seriously. A husband lying breaks trust and can damage the intimacy God intends in marriage. The Bible calls us to speak truthfully to one another as believers:
“Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.” (Ephesians 4:25 NKJV)
A believing husband lying is sinful and needs to be addressed and repented of. But we also need to examine our own hearts first.
Examine Your Own Heart First
It’s understandable to feel angry and want to lash out when you discover your husband has been lying. However, as believers our first response should be to pray and reflect on our own hearts.
“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5 NKJV)
Do you have bitterness, resentment, or pride that needs to be confessed? Have you contributed to an environment where lying was seen as the only option? Humbling ourselves before God first opens the way for wisdom and clarity.
Pray and ask God to search your heart for anything that may need to change. The goal should be restoration, not condemnation. Approach the situation with patience and grace, not anger and judgment. Listen to understand, not just respond.
Lovingly Confront in Truth
Once you have examined your own heart and spent time in prayer, you can lovingly approach your husband. The goal is to understand why he has been lying and seek the truth together.
“Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.” (Ephesians 4:25 NKJV)
Share the specific lies you are aware of and how it has impacted you. Listen to understand where this behavior is coming from. Is there fear, pain, or deep wounds causing the lying? Confront in love, not condemnation. The goal is restoration:
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1 NKJV)
As Christians, we know everyone sins and falls short (Romans 3:23). This includes husbands. If he has been lying, call him to repentance and believe God can redeem this.
Seek Counseling
For any couple recovering from lies, professional Christian counseling can be very beneficial. An objective third party can help you have hard conversations and get to the root of the issue.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14 NKJV)
Do not be ashamed to seek help. A counselor can walk this journey with you, provide tools for rebuilding trust, and biblical principles for healing.
Set Healthy Boundaries if Lying Continues
If your husband continues lying even after confrontation and counseling, you may need to set firmer boundaries. Make it clear you cannot trust him and it is harming the marriage if he refuses to change.
Give him the choice to either be truthful or separate for a time. Protect your own heart and do not enable harmful behavior:
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:33-34a NKJV)
You are not required to remain in an environment of constant deception. However, the goal should still be eventual restoration, not condemnation.
Trust God to Work in Your Husband’s Heart
As you confront your husband and seek counseling, trust that God can change his heart. Nothing is beyond God’s redemptive power if we humble ourselves and turn to Him.
“For nothing will be impossible with God.”” (Luke 1:37 NKJV)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NKJV)
Your husband’s lying may deeply hurt you, but pray God’s truth pierces his heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict him and lead him to repentance. God cares deeply about the vows made between husband and wife. Keep praying for healing and restoration.
Look to God’s Faithfulness
When facing the wounds of a husband’s lies, look to God’s faithfulness. His promises are unshakable, even when everything else feels uncertain.
“Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.” (Psalm 36:5 NKJV)
“For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”” (Hebrews 13:5b-6 NKJV)
Remind yourself of God’s love, sovereignty, and purpose, even in this hardship. Ask Him for strength and endurance. He will not abandon you.
Protect Your Marriage and Family
When dealing with your husband’s lying, you also need to protect your marriage and family. Do not make excuses or enable sinful behavior. But also refrain from gossip that would further damage trust.
If you have children, shield them from conflict but also model godly responses. Show them how to address problems with truth, grace, humility, and love. Promote unity but not at the expense of holiness.
Above all, pray protection over your family. Counseling can also equip you to set healthy responses and boundaries. Trust God cares deeply about your marriage covenant.
Seek Support from Other Believers
Don’t try to navigate this alone. Seek support, prayer, and wise counsel from other mature, godly believers. Ask them to pray both for you and your husband.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 NKJV)
Share your struggles honestly so others can encourage you, build you up, and point you to Christ. Let Christian community provide hope. Stay anchored in truth.
Conclusion
Discovering your husband has been lying brings intense hurt and betrayal. But as children of God, we can respond with His wisdom and truth. Confront lovingly, seek counseling, protect your heart, and trust God for redemption. Keep your eyes on Jesus. He will walk this road with you and use this trial for greater good.
“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Romans 12:9, 12:9b NKJV)
There is hope for healing and restored trust. By God’s grace, your marriage can come through this stronger and more closely knit to Christ. Keep praying and believe God will direct each step. His promises endure forever.
