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Yesterday I wrote an article on the 10 types of men that women should avoid like the plague.
As you can imagine, it caused quite a discussion with people.
Not so much on the website but in private communications with me from people who go to my church.
Of course, the guys asked if there was going to be a sister article to it. So here is the other side of the coin so to say.
- 10 Types Of Toxic Women Christian Men Shouldn’t Date
- Books On Dating
Do you have a problem with dating? Are you unable to find the perfect woman for you? The Bible has some very specific instructions for men, and here are 10 types of women that Christian men should never date.
We have heard the old saying that people tell you when you break up with someone.
“There are plenty of other fish in the sea”.
Well, it has been my experience that some of those fish are better left there.
Here is my list of the 10 types of women that Christian men shouldn’t date.
10 Types Of Toxic Women Christian Men Shouldn’t Date
1. The Unbeliever
Just like in yesterday’s article about men, the same holds true about unbelieving women. Place this scripture on your sports gear, poker cards, and the hood of your 65 Mustang.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
You need a wife who loves Jesus more than she loves you.
Put spiritual maturity at the top of your list of qualities you want in a wife.
Don’t blow it by thinking with your hormones instead of spiritual truth.
Apart from your decision to follow Christ, marriage is the single most important decision you will ever make.
2. The Drama Queen
Women have a tendency to let their emotions make decisions for them.
This can be a good thing in a healthy personality. It can be toxic when they become addicted to being the center of attention when they are in the midst of drama or crisis.
Some women create and manufacture drama just so they can once again be in the spotlight.
They will gather their cheerleader friends around them to console and support them and feed off the attention they receive.
If you are involved with this type of woman, throw her back into the sea. If you don’t, eventually you will be the drama she is creating.
3. The Drug User
This one is like what I said to the women.
Women addicted to mind-altering substances is not a good choice for a mate. I would even go as far as to say that unless there is major mental illness, those taking prescription drugs as a lifestyle rather than a temporary necessity are included in this category.
I once saw a woman in a custody case bring into the courtroom a bag full of prescription meds.
It was being determined if she was fit to continue having custody of her kids.
She laid out for the judge to see, an assortment of prescription medications that filled half of the table she was sitting behind.
Needless to say, she lost full legal and physical custody of her kids that day.
Insist that she get professional help and put her back into the sea. And don’t get into a codependent relationship in which she claims he needs you to stay clean and sober.
You can’t fix her.
It is God’s job to do the fixing.
Take enough time to know someone before you get married. You don’t want to be surprised on your honeymoon that you actually married a crack head.
4 The Spoiled Material Girl
I was single 13 years before God brought me His choice.
During that time I had a lot of opportunities to fish.
One of my experiences was when I ran into an attractive lady who nicely explained to me that a man should spend 1/3 of his yearly salary on an engagement ring.
Plop, back into the sea!
Unless you want to live in debt for the rest of your life, do not marry a girl who has dollar signs in her eyes and eight credit cards in her Gucci purse.
5 The Demanding Diva
Just as there are some men who are control freaks, the same applies to women.
They think the world revolves around them, and they don’t think twice about hurting somebody else to prove their point.
Their words are harsh and their finger-snapping demands are unreasonable.
Some of these women might end up in leadership positions at church, but don’t be fooled by their super-spiritual talk. Real leaders are humble.
If you don’t see Christ-like humility in the woman you are dating, throw her back without hesitation!
Divas might be fun to watch on TV, but you will regret every moment of living with her at home.
6 The Damsel In Distress
I fell for this one more than once but thank God I never got married to one.
These are the ladies that always have a problem in their life and need you to fix it.
They make great projects for ministry but they make lousy mates for life.
Do you honestly want to spend all your time fixing someone else’s problems?
Do you honestly always want to be the White Knight who charges in to the rescue?
I know for me. I needed a partner, a helpmate, and not the perpetually needy.
7 The Sexually Manipulative
Do you remember the story of Samson and Delilah?
There are ladies that use this tactic today to get their man. They will use what is meant to be their God-given gifts to their husbands and try to allure and manipulate men to their side.
Like Delilah, a woman who hasn’t yielded her sexuality to God will blind you with her charms and break your heart.
If the “Christian” woman you met at church dresses provocatively, flirts with other guys, posts sexually inappropriate comments on Facebook then throw her back before she gets a grasp on your soul.
8 The Contentious Woman
A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;
One of the mistakes that I made early on in my life was to ignore the type of household someone grew up in.
If they grow up in a contentious and strife-ridden environment, that will feel normal to them and they will do what it takes to make things feel normal again.
I also ignored deep-seated bitterness and unforgiveness. This led to constant contentions and strife.
If the woman you are dating is seething with anger and unforgiveness, your life together will be ruined by arguing, door-slamming and endless drama.
Insist that she get prayer and counseling before you take her home to meet your mother.
9 The Manipulator
Men usually try to control their destiny and environment by trying to be a dictator and forcing submission.
Women are more subtle.
They usually try to control their environment and get what they want through manipulation.
Marriage is a 50/50 partnership, and the only way it works is when both husband and wife practice mutual submission according to Ephesians 5:21.
The desire to control stems from a lack of trust both in God and in you.
The last thing you want to do is deal with a need to manipulate 2 weeks after you are married. You need to know she will trust you and not work behind the scenes to actually call the shots.
10 Mama’s Little Darling
When a wife is newly married it is normal for her to call her mom and ask questions and get advice. It is normal for her to look for support as she is venturing out on a new journey.
It is not normal for her to call her mom 5 times a day to give a status update, talk about every detail of your life, or your sexual proclivities.
That is not normal. That is downright strange yet I have known men who have told me that this is what their wife is doing.
Genesis 2:24 says a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Parents should stay in the background of their children’s marriages.
If the girl you are dating has parents that are boundary breakers, then throw her back. If she is still hanging on to mamma’s apron-string, wait until she lets go.
Don’t you be the one to cut it forcefully.
She will resent you.
Just throw her back.
There is plenty of healthy salmon to catch in the sea.
The best thing you can do in choosing a mate is found at Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Don’t waste time on the wrong woman and instead find a partner who is perfect for you.
Books On Dating
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
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